Cricket... What can I say???

The reason why I'm writing this post, is bcoz almost everyone in my family has written about it. My sis runs a pretty famous website www.sillymaidon.com (do need to check, unless you already have or... well, u R my sis!!) One of the best, and my cousin, who writes an even famous one. Then dad got into it, and its now a thing... that does not include me... that makes me mad!!!(oh I was a pampered child, screw u!!!)

Neways, I'm here to write what cricket has been for me. See, I've been watching it since I can remember. There would be hardly any India match that I've missed, especially when I'm at home. When I was young, frankly I never enjoyed them much, they seemed slow, and I preferred tennis over it. They bored me a bit, well a lot at times.

So why did I watch it?? I loved the look on dad's and di's face when they were watching it. Whenever there used to be a wicket or a six, I would turn and look at them smile. I loooved the conversations, the stories dad would tell that he'd experienced when he was a teenager watching cricket.

I loved the fact that for that 6 hours, I was absolutely in sync with my family. I would feel a different kind of bond with them, something that is harder to explain but seems like a flow when I feel it.

Now, cricket is a remembrance of that, when I'm not at home. I love it whenever there is a match going on and di's first msg on chat is, 'Score dekha kya?'. Of course, it is also about the spirit of the game, coz according to me, there is no other team that has the same spirit as the Indian team!!

Go Blues Go!!!

Didnt see this coming!!!

So, I was talking to this guy from school the other day, and he asked me whether I was in touch with anyone from school anymore. I said except for Shilpa and Abhishek, who are still like my best frnds ever, noone. And he was VERY shocked. That got me thinking to all the times of my school life, and grads and then now, doing MBA.

Believe it or not, I feel that school was the worst time of my life. Coz except for my 2 bffs, around everyone else, I pretended to be someone I wasnt. This geek of a girl, waiting for someone to notice me, trying to be nice all the time. Shilpa left school after 10th grade for kota, and abhishek... well, we used to fight more and talk less! Even he would agree that I'm anything but the girl from school.

I hated school, where I was constantly trying to get attention of people towards me, so pretending to be this really sweet and nice girl. I'm not saying I'm evil or something, but honestly, I don't always think pleasant thoughts about people in my mind!!

Grads was bad coz of... well reasons! I was still hiding sooo much there about me. But with my pg frnds, they knew me, and liked me for who i was!!! And we had loadssss of fun! And I had therefore promised myself, that I'm not going to pretend to be anyone but myself here. Coz it'll be so hard, living like someone else 24*7. And till now, it has worked out fine!

The funny thing is, this 'I Hated School' thing, didnt hit me until tonight!!mmmmm

Miss Techno Queen!!!

I hate computers, calculators, pretty much anything that says, 'Leave all your work to me!!!' Don't get me wrong, I'm not exactly the hardworking kinds... It's just that, I've never trusted computers(and everything related to it) in my life. Any story, any part of novel, I would first write in my diary, spoil a hundred pages on editing and re-editing, and then type it(maybe).

But here, with a personal laptop, and absolutely no time, one has to give in. The notes, assignments, ppts to study, ebooks, movies... all the solutions were in it. I've started to spend so much time with it, it feels as though I'm dating my laptop now.(Ohh!!! Acer darling! I love your pretty blue cover...*blush!!)

So imagine my sense of loss, when yesterday afternoon, my internet goes *BOINK!! 'I burn, I perish!' I'm using other people's computer for, well, checking mails, facebooking and writing about this incident on my blog... phew!!! How hard is life!!

And life sucks....

I miss my pg. I really do... I miss the dirty room, which I never cleaned, I miss the cockroaches, the mice crawling around. And I miss the fights, Oh! how I miss the fights!!!!

So the other day, my ex-roomie called and told me that they had a fight over a plate... a PLATE!!! That's what girls do, they want to feel liked and loved and bitched about, coz if people bitch about them, that means that others are jealous. They like to take sides, form 'groups', that's what they do, to feel good about themselves.

I miss the fights, people don't fight here. They act like adults, when they don't like people, they ignore...IGNORE!!!! That's right, they stop talking. Dude, we can do better than that. Life is boring, and confusing and I have too much time to think... I hate this place!!!!!

P.S.- I started on this new hobby of mine... Cribbing!!!!

My quote!!! Copyright :P

'Looking at my shadow I realized that is how we remember our memories, either black or white'

I see you!!

The turn able seats around me make noise. I look up, it's them, again. All of them... when they catch your eye, they smile or wave. And you can't ignore them, you have to respond. And no, you can't show the finger to them... even on your 'off' days.

Don't worry, I haven't been sent to jail yet (really???). This is my life, a complete contrast to what I was for the last three years. Then it used to be, go to college, avoid eye contact with everyone, meet your friends, spend some time, go back. And in the pg, sit and watch TV, or go out...whatever. We used to bitch, or people did that to us, and those years were my crash course to 'how to deal with people who are hopeless!!!' (I know I still have lots more to learn!)

And somehow, I had become this completely cold indifferent person who would'nt give a damn to what anyone thought about me. I was proud of the fact that I thought I can now handle any type of person now.

I was sooo wrong.

What I didn't plan on was to meet people here who were nice! Like really nice! And I feel I'm again back to square one. Coz I don't remeber how to be around them anymore. They help, take care of each other and are always always there. Breakfast, 9 hours of class, lunch, dinner... we spend sooo much time together, all of us. And with group assignments it gets worse.

And you can't have bad days, you can't go grumpy. I do sometimes, and people come up to me and ask what's the problem, try and make me laugh and all... It is sooo DAMN irritating.

I know I'm complaining for nothing, and yeah they'll probably change after a couple of months, but I had to write about my experience of living in a residential campus with SIMC being a small community of 51. It's tiring, its exciting, I'm sleepy all the time, for the first time I feel I'm doing something worthwile... two years are gonna pass without even knowing...!!!!

Will I survive tommorow?

A couple of days back I cried. I don't remember the last time I had done that. Not when I didn't get through SIMC Pune, not for TISS, not even Christ. The feeling of being useless was worse than anything that I have experienced yet. The late mornings, endless TV and Internet, novels read the nth time... somewhere it got me. And I cried. For whole two minutes.

It''s not like people don't take breaks after school or graduation. It's just that I had not expected it at all. Somehow I felt I would get in somewhere. And the idea of going to a small city for MBA after living in Delhi for three years made it worse(sorry di!).

So when I got a chance to come to SIMC Bangalore, I jumped. Well, not exactly. I discussed and thought and discussed some more. But in the end what was I to do? Yeah it'll be the first year for the Bangalore campus, yeah the fees amount made me a bit queasy, yeah I did not have a very pleasant experience at the interview. But I want to be in Advertising, and it's Symbi. So, my dad worked endlessly, got everything ready for me in five days, and came with me on a two day train journey of hell to Bangalore.

We knew that this college makes you work really hard. They told us this at the GD/PI itself. But it's worse, much worse. The day of Orientation we got an assignment that is worth 20 per cent of one of our subjects. We need to finish three books on our own for tests. There are three internships and ten projects to be completed. My classes last for four hours at a stretch. My head is spinning. In just two days. I don't know how others are managing but I'm scared. Actually I'm terrified.

I still want to do this. I'm just scared of not doing it well. People here know more about things that I've just started working on. Sometimes I wonder, as much as I want to do this, will I be able to handle the pressure? Not just the next two years, but the rest of my career span. Will I be able to survive in the big bad world? Will I have to compromise on the things I believe in? And if I do, will my conscious haunt me?

Anyway, out of the sombre mood, on to my happy place. The campus is really cool. My room is sooo big and clean. No more waiting in line in the morning outside the washroom. The food is clean and decent and somehow South Indians make North Indian food better. Less oil and all. I have a laptop, the single most expensive thing I've owned in my life. And I'm learning a lot, everyday. I know some people are better, but I'm gonna get there soon. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I can either worry, or I can do my best. I've made my choice.